We don't reach as high as we could in case we are deemed "not good enough". Such are the arguments by Brene Brown in her book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
Embracing our vulnerability is the key to stopping shame from winning, says Brown. The arguments are reasonable enough, and for the most part made sense to me.
But I'm not sure shame is given enough credit by Brown. While it can surely be an "un-motivator" as Brown asserts, it can also be a huge motivator. It's probably why we *do* do a lot of the things we do, so not having shame would be a huge problem.
But I suppose this book is not for the people with little shame, it's for those with too much, and that's fair enough. But since it's only written for the subset of the population, or perhaps the entire population but only for some of the time, I find it didn't apply very well for the most part. Or maybe I'm just in enormous denial and can't even tell!
I'm also not sure how much data really went into this. Brown talks a lot about what the data says etc., but it seems to me that her analysis is heavily reliant on anecdote, and is not actual statistical data per se. She uses something called "Grounded theory" to create her ideas.
I wouldn't read this book again if I could get that time back. But you're not me so you might see it differently.